Thursday, 14 December 2017

I'm in Cambodia right now. Writing this from a palm filled roof terrace with maybe the best salted caramel iced latte I've ever had. (Scratch that, it's defo the best). A month and a half ago I didn't know I'd be here. I didn't know I wanted to be. I didn't know I wanted to leave London, even.

To be quite honest with you, sweet babes, I'm not so sure why I had to leave London so suddenly, with so much certainty. It wasn't an easy decision to make and even with the lattes and the sunshine and the complete certainty I'm doing the right time, I'm still toying with it in my mind.

With a thick black permanent marker, sat here in this cafe where they're playing a meditation playlist and the wifi password is "highvibes," I just scribbled these words: when you're comfortable you're bored.

And really, that's it.

That's the why.

I needed change to shake me awake. Change to remind me of my capability, of what I want and how I want to live. Change to remind me of just how important change, itself, is to me. Of how sameness eats my soul through comfortable mediocrity. Of how I can forget how big the world is and how limitless my options are.

Here's the reality: I'm unemployed and I'm homeless.

But it feels ok.

I have a list longer than I can write of all the things I'm going to create and see and do. There's more in me that I can fit into my lifetime. More of me that I can fit into one city. This life is too good and too precious for me to waste it feeling small and stuck and not good enough.

A reminder, if you need it: you are not a tree. You can move and shift and be entirely new in every day and in every moment. You're gonna fucking die one day and there will only be you to blame for not living to the fullest of your life and your supersonic potential. Whatever you want, whatever you dream about when you're sliding through the motions of life, that is yours to take but nobody is going to give it to you, ever. You don't need permission so stop waiting for it. All you need is wifi and a dream.

Live your magic, baby cakes.

Love, always.